Organised chaos

How tidy is your desk (do you even have a desk)? Is it super organised or like something you’d see on The Hoarder Next Door?

Now I work from home my desk is smaller than those I had in offices, so I am, by necessity, tidier and more organised. My to-do list is to the left of my keyboard, current content documents/flatplans etc above this and expenses receipts etc tucked under my computer screen. (The baby wipes are for the dog’s gunky eyes! He visits at random intervals during the day and likes the attention. The reason I feel the need to explain this relates to my late father and does not bear going into!)

My Mac desktop, on the other hand, is a total mess.

I know roughly where current work folders are, but there are also loads of photos and screengrabs, too. On my desktop and also on my external hard drive (I learned the very hard way to back important stuff up) I have several folders called things like ‘random writing’ ‘writing’ ‘works in progress’. I’ve started to look at them to see if there’s anything interesting.

I just came across this. I don’t remember writing it, but I quite like it as an idea.

What if?

What if, when all about me are losing their heads, I’m the one adding to the panic by standing glued to the spot saying ‘Oh, my God!’ over and over again?

What if, when you get knocked over and trapped under a car, I don’t actually have the superhuman strength to lift it off you?

What if I’m driving the car?

What if I get diagnosed with a terminal disease?

And what if I don’t react to the diagnosis as I would hope to, with stoical acceptance and a determination to make every second count?

What if you leave me and I really do crumble, lay down and die?

If ISIS ever get to these shores and start throwing us off buildings, what if I can’t find it in my heart to forgive the person who leads me up the stairs?

What if these things don’t take time and time isn’t actually the great healer they always promise?

What if this actually, really and literally is it?